the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
