carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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