Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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