..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
