He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
