Dual....:-)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
