It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
