Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
