eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
