I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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