I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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