I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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