u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
