so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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