I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
