I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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