I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Randomize
