Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
