Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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