what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
