I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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