Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
