You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I fill condoms, not promises.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
