I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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