no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
