If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
