THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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