don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
