he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
