He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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