I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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