lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
