Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
