I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
