my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
