Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
