We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
