Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
