just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
