Barsexuality is the new black.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
