Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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