She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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