Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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