how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
