When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
