This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
