He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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