At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i believe in u and ur pee
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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