I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
As shirtless as possible
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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