Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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